Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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