all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
