Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
