I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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