you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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