Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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