You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
