drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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