dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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