...so i touched it.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
my being single is dangerous.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
