I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
