Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Randomize
