I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
