what day is it and did you see me today?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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