the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
