Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
