i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
