he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
