no you cant smoke seaweed
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize