I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize