Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
