Rock
Scissors
Fuck
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize