So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
