Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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