So drunk its hurt
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
