I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
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