Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
