Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
