apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
