Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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