he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
And then he peed in my hair
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