i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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