hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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