Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
