The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Randomize
