It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
