It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
