smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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