But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
