there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
