Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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