i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
