Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
