When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
