Too much gin, very little bucket
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
