There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
