Do you still have your period?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
