Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
