you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
