they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
