I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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