Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
