As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize