Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
