DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
