Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
