You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
